He stuck in my head. I didn't think about much else recently. I wake up thinking how he might be doing, and I make through my days by just thinking crooked, twisted stuff about him, then going to bed thinking about all that...lol
It's never been this severe.
I wonder what he'd do if I could tell him straight into his eyes. Would he feel any sort of stuff? or nothing. Would he just want to possess me? ... because I'm an easy prey. End me? Ki$$ me? Manipulate me, thinking my feelings are genuine love? or just reject me? or all... Can an act be called rape if you allow it to happen beforehand? No, that's not it. Just as it is not love. Maybe more like compassion?? connection, understanding? or desire?? curiosity? Well, who knows.
Next topic, totally unrelated. It's been colder lately. The days are very short and dark. It doesn't help with the recent fantasies. Life is calm and that is purely what matters at the moment. The weather was kinda similar when I got to know Jeff's case. I actually adored his character despite all he's done. He seemed like a gentle soul and apart from other Serial killers, he had a reason almost too considerate. Twisted and self-righteous, but whatever he thought, justified him for himself. I think he might had this cognitive dissonance? Rised to think this but he does that and instead of changing his actions, he's trying to explain them so he can find peace inside despite his wrong doing..? He was one in a million for sure.
Back then I went to school, I had one of these high boots, brown ones and a yellow jacket. That outfit looked like autumn. I kept listening to music from the 70's and 80's. It's weird how these things align. Jeff died in 1994, and he was born in the same year. And when I got to read the details of Jeff's story, he had his own stuff going on. Can this be a coinsidence or... a sign from the universe? It's funny how we had similar interests, same time and our paths are so completely different
Let's just not think about this for now. It's crazy stuff, right?
